{"product_id":"adulthood-scented-soy-candle","title":"Adulthood Soy Candle Jar","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAdulthood — smells like bills, burnout, and no days off\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAdulthood: the world's longest-running scam. No refunds, no manual, just vibes and direct debits.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e100% natural soy wax in a reusable amber glass jar. 9oz of slow-burning attitude, in six scents that all say the same thing: I'm not coming out. Light it, lock the door, and let the candle handle the atmosphere.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eChoose your scent:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: bold;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSurviving Christmas (Christmas Warmth) — Smells like surviving Christmas with people you can't stand.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: bold;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCancelling Plans (Cinnamon Vanilla) — Smells like cancelling plans and feeling zero guilt about it.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: bold;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHiding Under Sheets (Clean Cotton) — Smells like hiding under clean sheets until it's all over.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: bold;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSalt Water \u0026amp; Escape Plans (Sea Salt + Orchid) — Smells like salt water and an escape plan.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: bold;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSage-ing Your Meddling Aunt (White Sage and Lavender) — Smells like sage-ing away the bad vibes. And your meddling aunt.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: bold;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFuck All (Unscented) — Smells like fuck all. Just like this shitty season.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- Made with a 100% natural soy wax blend and cotton wick\u003cbr\u003e- Vegan, non-toxic formula free from lead, plastics, parabens, synthetic dyes, and phthalates\u003cbr\u003e- Reusable amber glass vessel that can be cleaned and repurposed\u003cbr\u003e- Available in six scent options, including unscented\u003cbr\u003e- ASTM safety compliant and assembled in the USA from globally sourced parts\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Burn within sight. Keep away from flammables. Keep away from children and pets.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEU representative\u003c\/strong\u003e: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct information\u003c\/strong\u003e: Lumient, two year warranty in the EU and Northern Ireland\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e: Burn within sight. Keep away from flammables. Keep away from children and pets.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"9oz \/ Amber \/ Surviving Christmas (Christmas Warmth)","offer_id":46626008334380,"sku":"18180036599883053493","price":22.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"9oz \/ Amber \/ Cancelling Plans (Cinnamon Vanilla)","offer_id":46626008367148,"sku":"70314033433736565679","price":22.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"9oz \/ Amber \/ Hiding Under Sheets (Clean Cotton)","offer_id":46626008432684,"sku":"19041118760757970396","price":22.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"9oz \/ Amber \/ Salt Water \u0026 Escape Plans (Sea Salt + Orchid)","offer_id":46626008465452,"sku":"29241804971718317517","price":22.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"9oz \/ Amber \/ Fuck All (Unscented)","offer_id":46626008498220,"sku":"88644205676126956003","price":22.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"9oz \/ Amber \/ Sage-ing Your Meddling Aunt (White Sage and Lavender)","offer_id":46626008530988,"sku":"22501725015106436250","price":22.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0609\/5041\/3356\/files\/adulthood-soy-candle-jarhome-decor-3416421.jpg?v=1794408549","url":"https:\/\/ironicallyinked.com\/products\/adulthood-scented-soy-candle","provider":"Ironically Inked","version":"1.0","type":"link"}