{"product_id":"sloth-how-do-i-uninstall-anxiety-scented-soy-candle","title":"Sloth \"How Do I Uninstall Anxiety\" Scented Soy Candle","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHow Do I Uninstall Anxiety? — smells like a 3:00 AM heart-to-heart with your bedroom ceiling\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnxiety: uninstalling… 2%… 98% remaining. The loading bar is a lie, but the vibe is real.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e100% natural soy wax in a reusable amber glass jar. 9oz of slow-burning attitude, in six scents that all say the same thing: I'm not coming out. Light it, lock the door, and let the candle handle the atmosphere.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eChoose your scent:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: bold;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSurviving Christmas (Christmas Warmth) — Smells like surviving Christmas with people you can't stand.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: bold;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCancelling Plans (Cinnamon Vanilla) — Smells like cancelling plans and feeling zero guilt about it.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: bold;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHiding Under Sheets (Clean Cotton) — Smells like hiding under clean sheets until it's all over.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: bold;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSalt Water \u0026amp; Escape Plans (Sea Salt + Orchid) — Smells like salt water and an escape plan.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: bold;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSage-ing Your Meddling Aunt (White Sage and Lavender) — Smells like sage-ing away the bad vibes. And your meddling aunt.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: bold;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFuck All (Unscented) — Smells like fuck all. Just like this shitty season.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- Natural, vegan, non-toxic soy wax blend with no lead, plastics, parabens, synthetic dyes, or phthalates\u003cbr\u003e- Reusable amber glass vessel that can be cleaned and repurposed as décor\u003cbr\u003e- Six scent options\u003cbr\u003e- 100% cotton wick and glass jar, assembled in the USA from globally sourced parts\u003cbr\u003e- Made to ASTM safety standards; all scents share the same wax color\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Burn within sight. Keep away from flammables. Keep away from children and pets.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEU representative\u003c\/strong\u003e: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct information\u003c\/strong\u003e: Lumient, two year warranty in the EU and Northern Ireland\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e: Burn within sight. Keep away from flammables. Keep away from children and pets.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"9oz \/ Amber \/ Surviving Christmas (Christmas Warmth)","offer_id":46626053095468,"sku":"74806071505027537562","price":22.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"9oz \/ Amber \/ Cancelling Plans (Cinnamon Vanilla)","offer_id":46626053128236,"sku":"30925172878579205176","price":22.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"9oz \/ Amber \/ Hiding Under Sheets (Clean Cotton)","offer_id":46626053193772,"sku":"86120092849484578873","price":22.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"9oz \/ Amber \/ Salt Water \u0026 Escape Plans (Sea Salt + Orchid)","offer_id":46626053226540,"sku":"14040002364644613108","price":22.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"9oz \/ Amber \/ Fuck All (Unscented)","offer_id":46626053259308,"sku":"21579474299073004236","price":22.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"9oz \/ Amber \/ Sage-ing Your Meddling Aunt (White Sage and Lavender)","offer_id":46626053292076,"sku":"20498795748287227780","price":22.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0609\/5041\/3356\/files\/sloth-how-do-i-uninstall-anxiety-scented-soy-candlehome-decor-7427712.jpg?v=1794408547","url":"https:\/\/ironicallyinked.com\/products\/sloth-how-do-i-uninstall-anxiety-scented-soy-candle","provider":"Ironically Inked","version":"1.0","type":"link"}